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Updated: Jul 13, 2022

Here I am hopeless I just heard the news when my father called my sister saying that my grandfather just passed away and my heart literally synced at this moment, I felt nothing I felt empty, I felt sick in a weird way, I couldn't believe it tell you the truth I never well, he was different to me, he would always hold me when I was a little girl, he just give me more attention when no one would, I was always left alone, even when I was a baby, my mom said that because I didn't cry as much I was a quite baby, but he always loved spending time with me, I don't know why but I guess he saw something different in me, but what was weird I didn’t cry, I just froze for three days like my body is made of ice like I'm cold from the inside out, I didn’t cry, I felt nothing, how can you feel nothing after the person you admired your whole life is gone, as if he never died, I guess all the thing that people have said about me is true, how I don’t have feelings, no remorse, Guilt, nothing, just emptiness, even my own mother said I’m a psychopath, I have even visited him at the hospital before he dead, he was not awake but still, I never lost hope I still didn’t think he would actually die, and after his death, it all began.

I'm m in a dream, this place is so familiar I been here before this street those houses, I look up grey clouds, dark, very dark skies, I Walk around I realize that nobody is here, cold crisp wind blowing softly, there is no trace of a human being in this place, not a single soul, it’s not real, at the same time it feels so real, I’m walking but I feel that I’m not the only one who walked those streets and who ever walked on those streets before walked alone, I walk barefoot, every single step I take is heard, every single house is abandoned, its like I’m in a ghost town but it’s weird because I feel like I have been here before I remember seeing those houses it's so familiar, all of the sodden I look to my left and I see the house, that house, my body urging to go towards it, I’m now right in front of my grandfather house the same old house, it’s scary and dark and I opened the door, I got this feeling in my stomach, that horrible feeling, that makes you feel sick and numb at the same time, feel like I’m in the right place but also so lost, I see this table in the middle of the yard, dining table with chairs, there’s nothing on the table also there is no one there, i look on the left and I see this dark tall shadow, I watch it as it passed by me, I turn around where the table is, all of a sudden my whole family siting at the table I see my grandfather at the head of the table, I don't know why but I set on the chair without even thinking, and no one is saying anything, no food no nothing just silence, I can’t think I can’t speak, it's like my lips are sewn shut, I can see my grandfather’s eyes scanning the table, then he says "I will choose one of my grandchildren" I thought to myself why he’s choosing for what, I want to ask but I can’t, I’m trying to make a sound to say something but i fail, I got this impending feeling that something is wrong and I looked at everyone they were looking right at me, and then I look back at him he looks me dead in the eyes and he points a finger at me, now I’m determined to ask why me what I’m chosen but as soon as I make a sound I fall to the ground and I shake so hard I can’t breathe and my vision is blurry and I fade away.

I woke up screaming and gasping for air and I’m relieved that it was a nightmare, I don't know why I was chosen and I’m not ready for it but I can’t help but wonder what’s next.

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